The Ones Who Remain
Many times, I find myself thinking about the people that I have lost. The people that death took away way too soon. The young souls who did not even get to graduate. They did not get to live the life they thought they would. How special am I from them? How? The parent who never got to witness their child's wedding, their child's biggest moments, their child's first business. The sibling who never got to reconcile with the family before death took them. The loner daughter who committed suicide as depression won over. The grandpa who was eagerly waiting to see his grandkids. The friend who was closer than family, and not even one day did you fail to see them. All these people that we have lost, how often do you think about them, my reader? Once? Daily? Yearly? All through? You know the real answer.
But hear me, kind reader, what happens to all the people we lost? Where do they go? Are they re-incarnated? Are they in some other universe/space meant only for them? Are they just hanging above the air, watching? Are they in the sky? Where are they? What happens after the physical body is out of this world? For the cultures that bury the body, what do you think is the situation of the body one month later? Two, ten, fifteen years later? And for the cultures that burn the body, what does this mean to them? For those that wrap up the body and bury it upright/vertically, why? What is the intricate significance to them? This makes me wonder on what's worse: being the one who dies first or the one who buries all your loved ones? What's better: being a stranger to the world of death or being a regular to that world?
So, what is it that I can't shake off? What is it that weighs heavily on me? The more thought I give to this, the more I cannot point to a specific thing. Because you know what, my precious reader? It is everything and nothing all at once. It is the lingering, gnawing, sickening feeling of knowing that, no matter what, you will never see them again. It is the gut-wrenching fact that the last time you were with them was the last time. But did you know that? It is the numbness of crying yourself to sleep, yet there is absolutely nothing you can do. My bestowed reader, it is the memories that haunt you. The days when everything and everyone was a bit better and the word "death" was a stranger. It is all the days you spent together, the activities you did, the places you visited. It is everything, dearest reader, everything and nothing.
Today, I want us to just take a moment and send love to those we have lost. Call out their names if you have to. Whisper whatever it is that you have to tell them. Because at the end of it all, grief is just immense love with no place to go. Furthermore, we keep them alive in us by frequently speaking about them, by sharing the memories you had with them with friends, family, and colleagues. Because memory is a strange thing, and when someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a gem. After all, the life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.
To you, my reader, whom this blog might bring up all the pent-up, suppressed feelings, let them out. Confront them and sit with them for as long as you need. I am sending you love. I am letting you know that grief has no timeline; it never had and never will. Cheers to forever caring and carrying them with us. Always remind yourself: GREAT GRIEF IS A DISTINCT PRIVILEGE.
Hello Mukami, welcome back from a short stint. Looks like we are going to dive into the deep-end with today’s blog. My long and short of this is that death was bestowed upon mankind for perpetuity. Funny thing is that if you REALLY think about it, death is the most constant event out there. At each given day, a person MUST die………….come rain, come shine. The numbers speak for themselves; an astronomical average of 174,000 people die each day, every day globally. That’s 2 persons every freaking second!! The numbers peak towards a monumental 64 million deaths at the end of each year! Quite astounding isn’t it? Sixty-four million lives will have been wiped off the face of the earth by 31st December 2026. If we go by the Kenyan population records available from the last census, that’s the entire country……..every person big or small GONE! Mark you that’s not all! “What do you mean?” – I hear you ask? Well, Kenya’s population is estimated at 58 million, so that means we can still add another country……like say Eritrea which has a population size of around 5.5 million. Shockingly, it is safe to say that entire populations of the two combined countries will be wiped out by the time we are done singing Christmas carols this holiday season!
That is the sheer magnitude of this thing we call death! It is quite profound. I usually find it quite absurd when death is discussed in low and hushed tones. On a lighter note, it is like as if we are trying to whisper, hoping that the Angel of Death was either too pre-occupied to catch us talk when we reprimand him for his devastating visitations when he comes calling. Yet he will without fail make that dreaded visit! That’s the stark reality. That’s the most constant event each day. There is no other event that takes place with such repeated intensity like the occurrence of death; other than the presence of the Sun. The Sun “rises” Eastwardly and “descends” Westward at dusk. This repetition has occurred for millennia. The same can be said about death. Death is indeed a close cousin to the Sun. You can count on the Sun to be there. Even if it raining cats and dogs, night or day, the Sun is ALWAYS there. You might not see it during night-fall or during a cloudy patch at daytime, but guess what……it is there! We owe our very existence to it being there! Quite blatantly, the Sun is constant………..it has to be, that’s it nature. And for some reason so too is the consistency of Death.
We don’t know what happens to the dead. What we know is that the physical aspect of their existence comes to a resounding stop. We cry, we grieve, we are sorrowful, we mourn……..we become embittered by the un-welcome visitation by the Angel of Death. Yet, alas he must come calling. It is not a question of “if” but a very pragmatic “when”. Human beings are creatures of paradox. We know death is assured for each one of us………yes quite sadly every one of us………yet on a lighter note, we throw tantrums and refuse to budge when the hour finally comes. The Angel of Death doesn’t take prisoners, he doesn’t fret and fidget when he sets his sights on his target. He goes full throttle! My take is that we should enjoy each day graciously, embrace life, cherish memories……..but also always have that uncomfortable back-in-the-mind kind of thing that with each new day, it could be the very last. We are not designed to be on earth forever. Our physical form betrays that. For each and every one of us, we are here for a short duration……..make it count! Tongue-in-cheek, die trying!
This is a deeply moving, beautifully vulnerable piece of writing. First, I want to acknowledge the profound depth of emotion here—grief is indeed one of the heaviest things a human can carry, and capturing it this rawly is incredibly powerful.
Here is a brief, human conclusion for your text:
In the end, we don’t ever truly move past the people we have lost; we just learn to carry the space they left behind. Death leaves us with endless, heavy questions about where they went and why we were the ones left to stay. But the answer to what we do with that lingering, gnawing ache isn’t found in figuring out the mysteries of the universe or the science of what happens to the physical body. It’s found in the simple, quiet act of remembering. Grief is entirely overwhelming because it is the continuation of a love that has nowhere to land. By speaking their names, holding onto their stories, and allowing ourselves to feel the full weight of their absence, we keep them from fading. To love deeply means to grieve deeply—and carrying that memory forward is the most human privilege we have.
A topic that is usually confused ..death and grief ….for death at least some of us has made peace with it that we’re gonna die or rather everyone will eventually do so..but Grief is different …its carrying all the emotions of someone you lost might be a loved one ..a friend,someone thst you prayed that God gives them a grace period and no you loose them, you feel it and nothing you can do about it you just feel it…but I will always tell everyone take a deep breath cry it out ,think of them ,talk about them although it’s difficult, but I still have this instinct that they are watching over us somewhere ..I don’t know where but somewhere..