Beginning Again, Again and Again….
To have the chance to begin over and over is a privilege. To know that all is not finished and you can pick up afresh is so refreshing. But it isn't easy, never has been and never will be. So, my reader, let's tackle this shall we?
How many times have you found yourself in a position where you got to re-start what you had started? Might be a business, a career you had given up on, an idea, a project left halfway, you name it. Such situations force you to sit with yourself and ask if this thing is worth trying again. Most times it is, that's why you started it before. But the problem is getting yourself to re-start again, the problem is accepting that the situation that led you to this point has already happened, the challenge is in talking yourself to gather all strength and courage to begin yet again.
What makes beginning again difficult is not only the task itself but what was. What could have been, how things ended, how you were so close to the finish line. The difficulty is in the questions just before you decide to rebuild again. The was it worth it? The what if everything just flowed smoothly without any interruption? The I'm I really meant for this? Do I really need to start again or completely do away with it? The disappointment, the exhaustion, the plans that did not work out the way we imagined. Starting over demands hope, yet hope can feel frightening after things fall apart.
But somehow, we humans still manage to stand up again. This is where resilience is needed more than ever. This is the point where some people give up, while others slowly learn how to continue despite the weight. Resilience reminds you that glory is found in rising after every fall rather than never falling at all. That you might fall seven times but stand up at eight. My comforting expression in such times is this, "I will keep my head above, I will keep swimming." Just that. It keeps me hooked, it reminds me that not everything is finished.
You who's reading this, I want us to reason out together. Imagine two people who are opening the same kind of business: A small Cafe. Person A has full support of parents, they've given him starting capital, they know of a good location and are in touch with suppliers and influential people. Doesn't need much, within a year the cafe is thriving and very much successful. Now we have person B. This one starts from nothing, borrows chairs from friends, sells their tea under leaking tent, has faced so many losses, fake promises, power blackouts, rent pressures and customers who don't pay. Some days they want to quit, but they keep moving little by little.
Years later, both own successful cafes. Although, one thing is quite clear and obvious, the second person has developed resilience, patience, problem solving skills, emotional strength and the ability to survive hard seasons. The message being, two people can reach the same destination but one travelled on a smooth road, while the other had to build the road while walking on it. That's the difference between convenience and resilience.
My people, do you see what I'm getting at? You who's weighing the option of if you should start building again please do so. Do not focus on the now moment, much more is laid ahead, much more is in the future in which you decide to re-start again today. Because if you don't, you'll live with the regret of what if I had just done it? I'm sure no one likes to be in that state, it's the worst and most terrible place to be. So, if life places at another beginning once more, take a deep breath and start anyway. Slowly, uncertainly, imperfectly....but start.
Tell me, what is it that you promise yourself to start again. A hobby, a routine, an enterprise, etc. Let's engage in the comment section
Insightful .I have a question, at what point does one have to walk away after a long period of being resilient but still the task at hand for instance the business is not picking ?………i.e just counting your losses and moving on to something else.
That’s a very valid question honestly. I don’t think resilience always means holding on forever. Sometimes resilience is also knowing when something is draining you more than it is growing you. I believe there comes a point where you have to pause and ask yourself whether the struggle is still building you or simply breaking you. Walking away does not always mean failure, sometimes it means making room for a different path, a healthier strategy or even a better beginning. The difficult part is being honest with yourself about the difference between a hard season and a dead end. And I think that answer looks different for everyone.
Thank you for engaging with my blog Benard, appreciate it😙
Hello Mukami, great to have you back after quite a long hiatus.
To be honest plenty of folks have little appetite to hit the “RESTART” button. There is the general perception that it takes monumental efforts to re-energize oneself out of the doldrums. They re-coil in face of the REPEAT-REPEAT-REPEAT process that has to be done all over again and again! It is very daunting to be sincere. Looking at your two examples, I am in total agreement that Person B will have loads and loads of resilience because of the challenging background and his ability to successfully circumvent life’s obstacles.
While Person A has a rosier start, why don’t we through the spanner into the works and imagine a series of serious kitchen fires that bring down the restaurant……. The big question is, does he have the mental fortitude to RESTART? Probabilities are that he lacks the balls and will run to his well-heeled parents to be redeemed. Is it gonna be all-hunky-dory to rebuild? I think not. Even with a fat-wallet, the parents have to wring their minds dry in coming up with a renewed, spic and span restaurant. They have to pass through the process……..yes they have the money……..yes it can do a lot of stuff…….but no it cannot re-direct the pain of a restart. They have to pass through the process, it is just how the Universe works.
In short what am I trying to say? – Resilience is a value that can overcome the disastrous world we live in. Anyone with small doses will make some headway in life. Those blessed with massive doses will RULE the world! That simple! The never-ending game of RESTART is a daunting task, not for the faint-hearted.
Thank you Oliver so much for taking the time to share such a detailed reflection.
I enjoyed your “kitchen fire” scenario because it reminds us that resilience is not reserved for those who start with less. Life has a way of testing all of us eventually. As you rightly pointed out, money, support, and privilege can soften certain blows, but they cannot completely shield us from the pain, disappointment, and uncertainty that come with having to start over. What I was hoping to highlight with Person B was how adversity often develops strengths that comfort and convenience may never require us to build. However, your example shows that resilience remains a necessary value regardless of where we begin. At some point, everyone encounters a situation that demands courage, adaptation, and a willingness to begin again.
I also agree with your observation that the process cannot be skipped. We may have different resources available to us, but the emotional work of rebuilding is something each person must face for themselves. Thank you for adding this perspective to the conversation. It raises an important question: Is resilience something we are born with, or is it something life teaches us through repeated restarts?